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A Guide to Love, God, Prayer, Meditation, & Peace Within You—Right Now

What Is the Right Thing to Give Someone Who Is Grieving?

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Anne: “I recently heard that a very low income couple in our neighborhood had lost their adult son who was mentally handicapped. Since then, the father, who took the son with him everywhere, has lost his happiness and is very depressed. I feel greatly empathetic to their loss and wonder what I could do to bring them some joy. I thought I heard God say to give them a hundred dollars, but then the urge to give them the money quickly vanished. I prayed about it to be certain God had told me to do this and it wasn’t just my head. Maybe I should just take them to dinner or give them a Bible. I want them to know God loves them and is with them during their trials. If I give them money, I want them to know it is coming to them because God said it was for them. What should I do?”

The Voice for Love: “Precious One, thank you for this dear desire to reach out unto others who are suffering, sad, or lost. Your wish to extend joy and share what you have is indeed the intention of God in you. Please know this and do not doubt it.

“The question of what to give is troubling you, and we would assure you that what you are clearly guided to give will indeed serve these dear souls. You are feeling ambivalent about the giving of money; let that ambivalence be your guidance. So often, “ego speaks first and speaks loudest,” particularly when fear is asking the question. You have the desire to give but fear giving wrongly, and so fear has entered the equation. Your experience that the thought of giving money arose quickly and just as quickly disappeared, is a clue as to its source. The thought of giving money is disquieting to you; thus is Spirit communicating to you that it is not the appropriate nor needed gift to give. Money is not inherently a better nor more valuable gift than any other. Your time, your attention, your focus—these are indeed the gifts you have to offer and can give freely with a willing and gracious heart.

“Simply approach this couple with Love. Extend your empathy and concern. Ask how you may be of help to them, presuming nothing. Those in grief sometimes burrow within themselves and cannot receive attention. There is nothing wrong in this. A simple gesture of kindness can be given and not fully received for now, like planting a seed that blossoms down the path. Do not be discouraged if your gesture is not overtly welcomed in an obvious way. Give anyway, knowing that kindness plants the seed of joy within both them and you.

“Your hesitation about giving money is your guidance. Please listen and follow this. Give what brings you joy to share and give. That joy in your heart is your guidance in what to do. Consider each of the options you have named and go with the one that makes your heart sing. In this you cannot go wrong. Simply be confident that whatever you give and share is the symbol of God’s Love for you. You are giving yourself, and in giving, you receive.

“Thank you, Precious One, for extending Love in the world. You yourself are the gift, and we thank you.”