Jennifer: “My husband has had several affairs in the past but has said he is sorry, and even that he is no longer viewing porn. Then I found out he is still viewing porn on his phone. Do you think it is time to just separate for awhile since talking and prayer has not helped that much?”
The Voice for Love: “Thank you, dear one, for your willingness and trust and courage to ask out loud the question that is so fully present in you. You have had a grievous shock in the discovery, and discovery again, of your beloved’s obsession with going outside the marriage for some sense of being. Honor your own heart at this time; be with it in gentleness and truth. Sit quietly and know you are not alone, for I am with you every moment, every step, in every decision.
“This is the time to trust the stillness in your own heart. Allow yourself to sit each day with your thoughts and notice them. Allow the thoughts of anger, shame, bewilderment and despair to be as they are. You need not feel you must run from these thoughts – they are needing only your acknowledgment and allowance. As you give yourself permission to feel all that you are feeling, you will see that your heart is indeed speaking to you, giving you guidance, direction, benevolence and calm, if you but take time to hear.
“Precious one, know this: you are a perfect child of God. Your spouse, too, is a perfect child of God. See his distraction as a hunger and need for what-he-knows-not, but at his center it is a desire for connection with God. This does not mean you must minimize or trivialize its effect on you, only know that it is not caused by any lack in you.
“At all such crisis points, as this one is for you, you must and can only truly listen to and follow your own heart. Give yourself permission to trust yourself. Know that I am with you, I go with you wherever you go. I will provide all that you need in any moment. If you are standing still and see loss, despair and emptiness, know that I am fully present with you. Acknowledge what you are feeling and ask for sure direction, peace and comfort.
“Dearest one, all are searching for the very thing that I have never denied you: the opportunity to connect with One who loves you utterly, completely and always. Know that both you and your spouse are on the path of discovering this. Allow the path to take you wherever you need to go. Do this in peace and begin to notice the gentle joy you feel in listening to your heart. This is Me whispering in your ear: I love you, I love you, I love you.
“Thank you for your trust and willingness.”