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A Guide to Love, God, Prayer, Meditation, & Peace Within You—Right Now

Should I leave my husband/wife or not?

25 comments

Dove of PeaceOne of the most common questions people ask me in counseling sessions is, “Should I leave my husband/wife or not?”

Relationship can be one of the most wonderful and fulfilling aspects of our lives. It can also be one of the most challenging, frustrating, and heartbreaking parts of our lives as well.

There’s usually no simple answer to solving a long history of struggle and challenge in relationships. The dynamics, habits, and wounds can get pretty intricate and complex over time.Regardless, there always seems to be a simple answer as to whether one should leave their mate or move on.

Deep down inside all of us is a place of tremendous Love and clarity. This Source of Love within us knows what is in our highest good—always. This part of our consciousness knows whether we should leave or stay.

For most of us struggling in relationship, the ego often speaks loudest. The ego is the part of our mind that is filled with pain, judgment, anger, and resentment towards our partner. It is the part of us that wants to protect our self interests and responds out of survival. When we listen to this voice within us that is rooted in fear and judgment, we rarely do what is in our highest good.

So how do we know?

When contemplating such an important question, it’s very important to take the time to access that peaceful place within all of us where the truth can be known. This can be difficult when we are in pain and confusion. But if we want to make a decision based on love, wisdom, and true service to ourselves, our family, and our partner, we must take the time to heal or release our pain, at least temporarily, so we can access that place of love, peace, and wholeness within. Once we do, that is when we want to ask that part of your Self what is in the highest good of all.

Love will always know the answer for you. Sometimes, it will tell you to stay, heal, and continue to work on your relationship. Other times, it will tell you to move on as an expression of true love for yourself. Love knows there is no separation in Truth. Love knows what your highest expression of Love is. Love does not judge. It only loves.

No matter what answer you receive in that quiet place within you where you feel whole and complete, that is the answer you should follow, no matter what it is. If you follow Love’s guidance, it will always lead you more deeply into Itself. Love cannot lead you away from Love. When you follow Love’s answer, you will know you are doing the right thing, regardless of what it is.

Practice joining with the Love within you, not just in difficult times, but in all times. Practice seeking guidance and inspiration from this source of Love within you. If you need help learning how to do this with more confidence and certainty, we have resources to help you. That is our purpose, to support people in joining with The Voice for Love within them so they can receive the peace, love, joy, guidance, and fulfillment they seek in their lives.

You have this ability. You have this divine resource within you. Practice joining with it as often as you can, and you will have the confidence to be able to access it when you need it the most.

Many blessings to you.

  • Vosa

    That is very true, we all need that, Bless ed to God 

  • Carole_blaire

    Thank you David this post it is both encouraging and inspiring and it so true how you react out of ego and when you listen deeply the answer and response is different. Its a divine given gift to all not just those who are saved.

  • Excellent article on choosing peace.  I’ve been divorced 3 times, and am now happily married to husband #4. Choosing peace, choosing what is best for me (it took a few times to figure this one out on the front end of marriage) is what finally led me to a joy in marriage and peace in my home. There was so much that I didn’t know what I didn’t know.  Divorce is a “correction” whenever it is a choice for love.  I’m currently writing my story in a book titled “My First Three Husbands.”  Lots of healing and forgiveness going on, thanks to the Voice for Love and ACIM. 

  • So glad to hear it, Jennifer. Thank you for letting us know and for helping others with your book.

  • Thanks Carole. I’m glad it spoke to you.

  • Marilyn Maloney

    I too have been married three times. All situations turned out amicable but after many years, we can still agree that at the time there was nothing else we could have done. As you said, we didn’t know what it was we didn’t know! Number 4 is welcome to come along, but that has not happened as yet. I hope there is a way that I will know when your book is out. I will watch for it.  

  • Daniel

    You are misleading people. Marriage is a union between man and woman as one body – a covenant before God and man. A covenant before man can be broken through a divorce but a covenant with God cannot be broken UNTIL DEATH. So even if you are divorced in courts, you are still one body before God. The Bible DOES NOT ALLOW REMARRIAGE when spouse is alive. There are verses in the Bible that indicate that one my divorce on the grounds of adultery but this too is in a different context. And there is no verse that allows a remarriage after divorce. The Bible also tells us to forgive endlessly. What if the spouse who was unfaithful returns home? Secondly, what is adultery? Even if a man looks at another woman in a vile manner, it is considered adultery. So, who hasn’t committed adultery? A right relationship with God is the secret to a happy relationship in marriage.

  • Claudia

    Yes, DavidPaul, i agree, love always knows THE answer, every time! Thank you for the beautiful session saturday, it is à great help to me,
    Also Goswin feels it….
    With love
    Claudia

  • Bobbi

    I am writing from my husbands computer , he has apparently been on here before.He is my third husband, married him just before I came to the true understanding of salvation and being filled with the Holy Ghost. I feel since all the past happened before I was saved those things were forgiven me, I am a new person in Jesus. I now believe as Daniel has written before me  about a covenant before God. My husband has just been sent to prison for ten years. 2/3 of my family think I should divorce him, I am his ONLY support from the outside, They do not understand my position that if I break my promise of for better or worse ( who knows what the worse will be?) I am the one going to have to answer to God for that broken word! Besides if we turn everyone away for a mistake (sin) we would not have many around us, I still love him even though he committed a grave crime/sin. I have forgiven him even though I hate what he did. I am his wife and the only one or might say the last one in line responsible for trying to bring him to repentance and save his soul. If any one will take the time to study the Scripture you will find these things to be true. I feel my husband has repented and found grace with God again. If God is willing I will be here in ten yrs. when he gets out. We are 62/65 respectively so you see why it is God willing. I hope this helps someone out there, Please pray for us.

  • Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring words. You are surely guided by Love. You are a strong woman. Thank you for listening to your heart and following it. Your love has touched me. I send you an your husband my blessings and love.

  • Jennifer

    You and your husband are in my prayers.  You are answering the question, “What would love do now?”  and have been given time to heal.

  • mlmvc

    Hello,everyone my name is mlmvc from USA i never ever believed in spell
    until i meet a man called Dr upesa, who help me cast a spell that bring
    back my ex-lover who left me for one years before our marriage,His
    spells works beyond my imaginations and today i am happily married two
    kids and me and my [ex-lover] now husband are very happy more than ever
    before,what more can i say rather than to say thank you Dr upesa
    for been there for me,contact him today and your life will never ever
    remain the same his email is upesaspelltemple@gmail.com

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.

  • Lisa

    Funny I found this site. This is exactly what I did when I left my husband of 33 years. I meditated, I prayed, I asked my angels to help me. I lived one day at a time and my inner self led me to peace. I still have family mad at me and people talk about me. I have been told I am selfish and evil that I am crazy. But, I am not. I do suffer guilt at times. Then I remember how it was and how it is. I cannot believe that a God that loves us and forgives all does not want us to be happy. I know I was a great Mother and wife. If someone does not want to make a relationship work and expects you to do everything and not be yourself, they do not really love you, they love you for who they want you to be. When you are not that person that they want they beat you down until you give up. That is not a life for anyone. I went to counseling and begged him to go with me. He said it was all my problem. When I finally did leave he could not believe it. He asked me to leave himself four times and when I left he finally said he would go to counseling. I was so tired of trying my four months of depression and counseling almost killed me. Once I found peace, I never looked back. I hope he can find peace one day. To live with someone who can never be happy or thankful for what they have is hard and wears you down over the years. With the kids gone I kept myself busy I worked full time anyway. I found more and more ways to escape being with him. The only times he seemed happy was when he could make me unhappy. I finally decided our cycle was sick and I could never break it. Sad but true. As a cancer survivor I can tell you life is too short. I am with my first love from 40 years ago. I am happy but most important I am at peace. Life is never easy. Home should be our haven if we share it with someone, not a battleground.