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“She Is Mine” – an excerpt from “When God Spoke to Me”

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The following short story entitled, “She Is Mine,” is an excerpt from DavidPaul Doyle’s book, When God Spoke to Me: The Inspiring Stories Of Ordinary People Who Have Received Divine Guidance and Wisdom. When the book was released in 2010, it immediately became the #1 best-selling spiritual book on Amazon.com, the #12 best-selling book overall. This story is one of seventy inspiring stories in the book, which chronicles the true life stories of ordinary men and women from around the world who have experienced hearing God’s Voice in their lives. Read the excerpt below:

“She Is Mine”

I was terrified—crying out to Him with all of my heart. I couldn’t believe God was speaking to me, nor could I believe He would say this … ask this. Not now.
I grew up in a non-religious or spiritual home. We neither read the Bible nor attended church, except for Easter Sunday. I began talking to God at 13 when I discovered my parents were not my biological parents. It didn’t matter that I never heard a response from Him. He was my “imaginary friend.”

At 26 I married, and we had our only child eighteen months later. Our daughter was hospitalized twice in her first 90 days with different forms of RSV pneumonia. We struggled financially. While I worked two jobs, my husband ran his own resume business so he could stay with our child during the day and prevent another bout of RSV. The new business produced income but took all that it made to continue. We had no health insurance and no way to obtain any for a child who was hospitalized so early in life.

Eight months after her birth, I was involved in a car accident and unable to work for months. I remember thinking, my God, what’s next? Why are you punishing me? The stress was unbearable. Times were excruciatingly difficult, and we were approaching financial disaster. For the first time I truly felt helpless, and real depression set in.

One Sunday afternoon, our child suddenly became very ill. Within 15 minutes, she changed from an active two-year-old playing with her toys, to a lifeless form lying on our living room floor, unable to keep anything down. Her temperature was 102 degrees and climbing. My mom, who lived right behind me, told me to bring her over. We bathed her in cool water and swabbed her down with alcohol to reduce her fever, but still it soared. We gave her Tylenol, but the medicine wouldn’t stay down. Repeated messages left with her pediatrician’s answering service brought no replies.

As she lay on Mom’s floor, I suddenly remembered a lady at work who was an evangelical holy roller. At their church, they laid hands on each other and people were healed. The lady never explained how they did it, but it was worth a try. Crying and praying, I kneeled over my child, laid my hands upon her tiny back and begged God to heal her. I promised God all kinds of things. I begged for forgiveness. I even begged for her illness to be put upon me. My mother watched in amazement.
The doctor finally returned my calls at 6:45 PM saying he had called in a prescription to a local pharmacy. It closed at 7:00 PM on Sunday and was at least 15 minutes away.

Driving down the road past the church where outdoor sermons were preached from a grounded boat each Sunday, I began to cry hysterically. It hit me that my child could suffer brain damage or die from the high fever. I hated to leave her, but I had to get the medicine. Again I begged God to heal her tiny, innocent body, but this time, I was screaming it out loud in the car through the tears and mucus streaming down my face.

It was then that I heard a firm but loving male voice. The loudness of it seemed to fill the van, but it also seemed to be just in my head. I stopped breathing.

“Will you give her to me?” the voice asked.

“What?” I screamed. I gulped my first breath in seconds, wiping my eyes and nose on the sleeve of my shirt, and glanced around my van to see if someone had somehow slipped inside.

Again, the voice spoke, louder yet softer somehow. It asked again, “Will you give her to me?”

My mind spun in circles. Had I somehow slipped off of the edge of reality? This was a real possibility considering the stress I’d been under for the last few months. I began a series of small “systems checks.” Am I driving? Yes. Is it evening? Yes. Is today Sunday? Yes. I even pinched myself on the arm to be sure I wasn’t dreaming or hallucinating. That hurt! The voice waited patiently for me to process what was happening.

“Will you give her to me?” He asked.

”How can you ask me that question?” I screamed. “Are you trying to tell me it’s already too late? Have you already taken her and are preparing me so when I get to my mom’s house and find she’s dead, I can cope with it? Why would you ask this of me?”

I felt so angry and scared that I had actually pulled over into a grocery store parking lot and wondered if I should just go back home. I couldn’t stop shaking. If God was taking my child and I headed back home right now, maybe I could spend the last few moments with her in my arms as she left this world and returned to Him.

As this last terrible thought crossed my mind, I realized that, in Truth, she was already His. She was “on loan” to us from God. I cried so hard I nearly choked. As this reality sunk in, I whispered the answer through my tears.

“Yes, I will give her back to You, if I must.”

It was the single most profound moment of my life. My heart was breaking, yet at the same time was relieved because the fear had gone. I couldn’t lose what I didn’t possess. This was the first time since her birth that I fully realized my little girl belonged not to me, but to her Creator.

As if He were right there listening to my thoughts, He said, “I created her. I breathed life into her. She is mine.”

“I understand,” I responded, sobbing. “I don’t want to lose her, Father, but I will give her back to you.”

“Well done, my good and faithful servant,” He said quietly in the most loving voice I’d ever heard.

This startled me almost more than actually hearing the voice. “How can I be a good and faithful servant when I don’t even attend church regularly?”

The pharmacy was closed, and I arrived back at Mom’s house within 20 minutes. Climbing the stairs, an indescribable surreal peace filled me. I knew I would open that door to find my mother hunched over my daughter’s lifeless body. I didn’t know how I would handle it.

“Ma-ma,” my daughter said, as she greeted me at the door, “I feel all better now.”
She had a big cup of juice in one hand and a cherry Popsicle in the other as she hugged my leg, turned around and ran off to play. It was as if she had never been sick at all. The fever was gone, and her appetite had returned as if nothing had happened.

I glanced at my mom who was sitting in her chair munching a Popsicle.
“What happened to her, Mom?”

“I don’t know,” Mom replied. “Her temperature shot up to 104 degrees right after you left and I couldn’t get her to wake up. I got up to call an ambulance, and when I came back she was sitting up asking for something to drink. It happened about 20 minutes ago.”

What I learned that day changed me forever. God is real. I never needed to know that more than in the moment He spoke to me. What I thought was mine, never was; she is His. And I was “enough” for God, just the way I was.

**************

Rita Carlson is a 45-year-old Tampa native who explores her creative side making and selling jewelry. She and her daughter volunteer their time for the homeless and support other local nonprofit organizations.

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  • Neerav

    David,

    This story brought me to tears…….I  mean, as I am writing this, I can’t hold them back. This shows the true power of having faith and trust in God and surrending yourself to Him always, even in the darkest and more desperate of times. I know a lot of religions, as well as thier enlightened saints and mystics; and deeply religious/devoted who have experienced miracles, which are, in reality, expressions of God’s Love through His grace. Truly amazing. I have recently come to believe that “God works in mysterious ways” whether you believe in the Lord or not, and this story reinforces that belief. There is a reason why things happen in our lives and in the world around us that only God knows why, and we should just have faith in the Lord and surrender ourselves to Him.  

    My parents recently taught me the value of surrending onself to God, even at every moment. My father has been teaching me to not just surrender to God, but do so wholely and completely, and let the Lord, who knows you and what is best for you in His infinite wisdom, to take good care of you. Having read this beautiful story, I can really thank my mother and father for teaching me this, which only happened through God’s grace, having read this story.      

    Thank you again for such a beautiful inspiration – I am going to share it with my parents and friends (if you don’t mind at all) so they can be divinely inspired as well. God bless.

    - Neerav

  • http://www.thevoiceforlove.com DavidPaul Doyle

    Yes, of course, you are welcome to send this webpage to them. Since it’s copyrighted, please don’t cut and paste the story and send it to them via e-mail. Just send them the link to this webpage so they can read it online. Thanks for spreading this inspiring story! It’s one of my favorites!

  • PO

    Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story, it brought tears to my eyes/

  • http://www.thevoiceforlove.com DavidPaul Doyle

    I know. It’s a tearjerker :-) glad you liked it too…

  • Val

    God is a faithful God,He will never leave us nor forsake us Amen.

  • Bernard Borteye

    this is indeed wonderful, which shows forth the miracle working hand of God over every situations of His children. God is faithful to be praise.

  • Jarinsens

    Yes, God is Love and wonderful. He never leaves us alone.Praise The Lord Haleluyah Amen

  • Larryt

    This is a very beautiful story and it strengthens our belief and Love in God and his Love, Compassion and Mercy for us.

  • Ann

    With God all things are posssilble!

  • Sanmghee23

    DThis is a very beautiful story god do work miracles and he did it for me. In june of2009I went in the hospital because of my disease I had two surgeries where I was under so much medication that I had memory loss.the doctor put me in anursing home my weight was 80 pounds I was in 3 different nursing homes and in and out of two different hospitals having blood transfusions.everbody thought I was going to die. I stayed in nursing homes for 7 months when I did come home I couldn’t walk I was in a wheelchair and I weighed 80 pounds. But today because of god I’m walking on my own and I weigh 150 pounds.I also taking care of myself with a right mind.thank u lord jesus.cassandra mcghee

  • Mercedes a hansen

    wawwwhh !!!! this story skares me some how, i know that we belong to god, and i never thought that god will ask this , with this words, “will you give her to me?”…. it is skarry… it remind it me at the bible when god says to abraham to sacrifice his son ,,, i must say  this is difficult to anderstand end yet i mayby anderstand , and olso this unconditionnel trust that it was god speaking ….

  • Nosipho

    wawwwww it realy touch my heart, now i know that he is my father who is always there when you need him, just pay attention to his voice and you will hear what he wants you to do.

  • S.C.D

    What touched me the most is when the writer wrote “Yes, I will give her back to You, if I must.”
    It reminded me that I have to give my son over to God on a daily base and My son’s will. Also God reminded me that I have to give my co-wrks and their bad behavior,bad attitude and goissping ways over to him on a daily base and their will over to God. So he can have his way in their lives and move on my behalf.

  • Krest509

    wow this was very beautiful..

    I’m taking the time to thank God for giving me the gift of Love
    and Lifting up my broken relationship that i’m going through with my girl of 4 years.
    i know God brought us together, because he knew if any girl was their to teach me how to love it was her, now we going through so rough time, so I give God back our love and the relationship he created for us, to help us heal and understand each other and stick through the pain and make it work. so that we can share our love at the purest form.
    and get married. i ask everyone to lift Harlan and Fradelene in your prayers we young adults trying to built a stronger relationship that’s clean and pure in God eyes

  • Faithmwachia

    wow! i am so touched.