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A Guide to Love, God, Prayer, Meditation, & Peace Within You—Right Now

How Can I Heal My Relationship with My Mother?


Carol: “My 75-year-old mother is very negative and critical. She is never satisfied with my life or my achievements and seems to need to make me wrong about everything. I feel I am caught in a trap of always wanting to prove that I am worthy of her respect. I remember that I was often terrified of her as a child and she could be very cruel. Yet I know that she too had a very tough childhood; she lost her own mother when she was little and had to help care for her siblings from a young age. I am Christian and have been told I need to forgive her, but how do I do that? How can I be healed from all of this?”

The Voice for Love: “My Dearest Child, thank you for opening your heart and mind to receiving a higher perspective on your relationship with your mother. This is a very brave opening for you.

“Please ask yourself, Beloved, whether you believe that this relationship can be healed, completely. Also ask yourself whether you are completely willing for it to be healed. Please know that the answer to both of these questions must be ‘yes,’ and if it is ‘yes,’ so be it. You have willed it and desired it, and so it is. Accept healing for yourself and on behalf of your mother.

“Begin immediately to practice viewing your mother as the beautiful soul that she is. You can imagine her shining with a lovely, soft light. Do not pay attention to her words. These are the words of a woman asking for love in the only way she can at the moment. Do not take offense when she criticizes you. Instead, reply softly – do not become angry.

“Practice also, when you are alone and quiet, going to a lovely space within that is glowing with beautiful light. Simply be in this space and breathe it in. Here you are totally acknowledged by God as the radiant, holy child that you are. Here you are only loved unconditionally, cherished, tenderly guided and watched over. You may create this space in your imagination in whatever way seems most lovely to you. You may spend as much time in this beautiful inner space as you wish.

“In this space you can commune not only with your own higher Light, but you can also be with the higher Light of your mother. Here you can practice forgiving her, loving her, encouraging her. Here you can gently breathe through your feelings, allowing them to arise and fall away. In this quiet space you can practice the feelings and behaviors that you want to bring into your relationship with your mother.

“You will practice acknowledging yourself, loving yourself, encouraging and praising yourself as well. You will become your own truest friend. This practice is going to build your confidence. Without saying a word to your mother, you will begin to feel stronger. You will no longer seek to change her behavior. Rather, you will watch as your behavior and your emotions become more loving towards her. You will be patient, you will not find yourself compelled to reply to her. You will allow her to be herself, and you will become more and more yourself.

“It matters not, Beloved, what has happened in the past. All that matters is that you have chosen to heal and to awaken. That is all that matters. Bless your mother, and all those close to you, for the wonderful lessons they are acting out for you. It is all for healing, Beloved. All for healing.”

  • Audrey

    What a beautiful reply!!    This answer could apply to any difficult relationship a person is having.   Thank you for sharing this.   The love within this answer is palpable.   It inspired me with my relationship with my partner.  

  • Thomascovering

    Hello There are many things our parents have gone through and things they will never tell us about. When your mother begins to criticize listen to her with your heart not your head.there is a message there of hurt usually its something she is trying to protect you from .she may have repeat the same phase for as long as you can remember(think About it)  extend love to the situation and speak to the Holy spirit  and he will reveal to you what it is that she is seeking. love your neighbor as your self remember love is what it does.

  • Favour Roseline

    that was an excellent reply. i wouldn’t know what or how to behave in a situation like this and i believe the answer to this situation would not only help her relationship only with her mother but others as well and i am one of the people it will help. in fact i will start acting better in my relationships with my friends, boss, colleagues proving to be to critical. the answer is really so precise.

  • Aarti

    i perfect solution from my side is just open up yourself to her .just ask her why do she get angry on you or do she hate you(i mean she don’t hate you but for the sake of asking)or don’t you want to see me happy and if you don’t i will remain sad for you(ofcourse she can’t see you sad) she is actually like coconut tough from outside but smooth from inside.just ask her questions like this but politely and with love .you will definitely have answer.actually mothers are like that only some are expressive some are not because she has undergone some tough phases in life or maybe she forgot how to express love and care and you should show your towards her ofcouse.she need love now not forgiveness.if u really want to know how much she loves you just pretend to be sad for a day or so and you will see her getting worried about you.and do take her to church with you where you can pray together and improve your relations and just show your love to her.phases of life has made her tough.you just know she lost her mother but not the rest of the story.just be with her……………..

  • Starcrystal_d

    The reply touched my heart deeply.  Thank you.  You have helped many people myself included in reading this most beautiful answer.

  • Mary

    Thank you! I am having so much trouble with my sis and hopefully this will help. I just want both of us to be at peace instead of fighting all the time.

  • That was so right …I have often cut myself off from those that were negative or rude to me …but I realize that I need to stay and work on accepting and loving them rather than cutting them off cold…

  • Just came across this. Beautiful words. Thanks for the help and best wishes to all you people looking for healing our there. You will have it!