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A Guide to Love, God, Prayer, Meditation, & Peace Within You—Right Now

Finding Love in a New Relationship

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Donna: “I am 53 and just started dating again two years ago. I am seeing a man who is kind, generous, thoughtful and caring. The problem is, often he becomes very negative and won’t answer if I call, stays locked away in his home, or says he will come over then doesn’t show up. If I, in turn, don’t contact him, he comes looking for me and tries to get close again. He says he is afraid of my love, that he has never had a person care for him so much. This man believes that love is a sacrifice, which explains his fear. I tell him that real Love is a gift and it is all I can give. Should I draw the line and let him go, or continue to show him simply what Love would do?”

The Voice for Love: “Dear One, as always, we are so much with you and appreciative of the calling of your heart to be with us in everything you experience.

“Yet you cannot experience your friend’s life for him, nor should you try. You are a mother, but he is not your son nor is he your responsibility. He knows of Love in his own way, and as we deepen our relationship with him, his way of feeling and expressing it will not be the same as your way. Honor that.

“You will find that the real Love within you often is expressed best in silence, for you would not have your overt expression deflect another from finding their own expression out of fear and lack of understanding of the many ways in which our Love can manifest within the world. You are a strong and mothering person. Tether the expression of your strength and allow your friend to be strong on his own terms.

“In your new path of relationship building, it is not always easy to put aside long held habits of mothering and organizing the lives of others, but this you must do. Similarly, teachers must temper their classroom skills when dealing with outside relationships. Actors must put aside affectation skills with outside relationships. Engineers must put aside the tendency to want to find THE solution for a common problem or another’s problem, and so on.

“Respect for relationship partners involves acceptance of them, regardless of where they seem to be in their own understanding of who and what they are. It involves openness to them and their ways of expressing their current understanding. And if their understanding activity conflicts with your own expression of your understanding, you must allow yourself either to release your experience of conflict, or remove yourself from the presence of such conflict.

“My child, you are never alone. What you are now attempting is new to you and the road may seem bumpy at first, but we are always there to support you, to be in Love with you, as you continue your journey. Be at peace with the friendship of this man, and do not ask of him what is not your place to ask. He will come onto his own, with or without you. And you are already set on your journey, where many learning partners will accompany you along the way.

“Blessings to you, who are already so blessed.”